.::fountain of dream::.

I was so sleepy all day today. So I just took it easy.

What I did today.

1. Washing my clothes.
2. Playing the piano.
3. Making a cute card.
4. Experimenting to grow plants – The strong lamp for my plants got broken!
5. Fixing a window – tried to help a spider by letting it outside the window but it died instantly. I guess it was too cold for the spider. (Note to self – Sweden is cold in the winter!)
6. Thinking about psychopathy – I think the most of the elites are psychopaths. They can do anything to get what they want.
7. Watching an old Japanese movie called White morning – too arty.

Good night!

Of course I like to talk with girls I like, but I feel uncomfortable with too girly things such as girls’ lunch or girls’ night out. I have been thinking why I feel uncomfortable with that. Here is my theory.

Because I don’t like to put a label on people.

I like to be open to everybody. I don’t like to judge people based on gender. So “girls only” is against my ethical values.

This is my story.
When all the girls in my class ignored me in the elementary school, there were only boys in the class who talked to me. But I didn’t feel very lonely. Because I could have fun talking and playing with them. I remember that it was 1991 and the Iraq war was the hottest topic on the morning news shows. The boys started to play a war game and I joined them. We made two teams and played Iraq vs multinational force. After that, we watched a Star Wars movie. There was a student group working for announcing and broadcasting in the school. They played movies during lunch breaks when it was raining.

But suddenly our teacher came and got angry at us when we had fun watching the movie. She screamed hysterically “Why are you watching such a violent movie!?”. We didn’t understand why she got so angry so we just became silent. I was the only girl who was there and she asked me if it was scary. I said that it was scary because she wanted me to say so. Now I think I should have said it wasn’t scary. But that was the only way I could think of to avoid an argument with her at that moment. She got upset that me as a girl watched such a “violent” movie. But I thought it was a sexual discrimination. “As a girl, you have to have a ladylike attitude.” I have heard that phrase many times and I always felt disgusted when people put a label on me. I didn’t want to limit myself. I wanted to be free.

After a while, the girls stopped bullying me. They started to talk to me. The girls were just forced to ignore me. I think the bully leader gave up because it didn’t really work with me.

So I believe that there is always somebody who supports you if you are open and honest to everybody.